“The bond and covenant of marriage was established by God in creation, and our Lord Jesus Christ adorned this manner of life by his presence and first miracle at a wedding in Galilee.It signifies to us the mystery of the union between Christ and his Church, and Holy Scripture commends it to be honored among all people.”

Such blessings do not come spontaneously, though. They must be sought, labored for, and treasured. This is especially true today, when there is little support in our culture for Christian marriage, when the whole question of sexuality and family is confused, and when the institution of a “lifelong union between two people” is under severe attack.

At St. Stephen’s Church we have a strong commitment to couples preparing for marriage. We want to help them develop a solid foundation for their life together, a task that takes some time and work. In order to facilitate this, we have developed a premarital process that combines Bible study, prayer, worship, a seven-session study, and pastoral care. Issues discussed cover the simple details of the ceremony, the Christian understanding of marriage, the practical issues like communication, sexual purity and faithfulness, love, roles and responsibilities, self-image, finances, and other matters of family living.

Getting Married at St. Stephen’s
Because we want to be deeply involved in the lives of our people considering marriage, we anticipate that the premarital process itself will take at least six months from the date of the application to the wedding date. We ask couples to plan accordingly and apply early.

When you are ready to apply for marriage:

1. Call the church office to obtain a wedding application. This form must be completed and received by the wedding coordinator to begin the pre-marriage process. When you return the application, the wedding coordinator will:

a. Set a tentative wedding date, reserving the appropriate parish buildings. Due to competing demands on the use of our parish buildings, some restrictions on the days/times available for weddings and rehearsals exist. We will make every reasonable effort to accommodate the wishes of the couple applying for marriage, but please apply early!

The date will become final upon completion of the pastoral process and approval of the Clergy member assigned to perform your wedding.

b. Give you detailed information on our parish wedding policies.

c. Give you information on how to contact our Director of Music Ministry who will oversee all wedding music.

2. Begin premarital counseling. You will receive a letter inviting you to the next scheduled series of premarital classes.

On rare occasions we will find couples who do not seem ready for Christian marriage – that is, who do not intend or show ability to contract a life-long union built upon the Lord; who do not demonstrate the “heart, mind, and will to accomplish this union”; or who do not intend to “seek God’s help thereto.” All couples are required before their weddings to sign a “Declaration of Intention” that such is their purpose. Couples who do not appear ready for the responsibilities of marriage will be asked to delay their wedding plans and work with our Clergy to overcome the problems causing any post-ponement. The assigned Clergy must grant permission before the wedding plans can be finalized. Invitations to the wedding should not be sent out until that time.

A wedding is a great opportunity for people to lay a foundation for the remainder of their lives. It is a time for new beginnings and a chance to talk seriously about the place of the Christian faith in the home and in the practical matters of married life. Thus, we ask that those who come to St. Stephen’s to be married take advantage of this opportunity for the kind of discussion that is unique to the occasion. We are eager to come alongside the engaged couples of this parish to do all we can to help them build a strong and blessed Christian family life.

If You Have Been Married Before…
We know that God can restore, heal and bless people who have been through the tragedy of divorce, and we are eager to help that happen. In order to reduce the possibility of a second divorce and to bring God’s healing to those who have experienced divorce, the Episcopal Church requires its Clergy to work pastorally with people who are seeking remarriage. For those who have been married before, personal pastoral work with your Clergy is designed specifically for each couple. All remarriages must have the approval of our Pastor and the Bishop. Please contact the Clergy at St. Stephen’s as soon as you think you might be interested in remarriage.

Do you have questions about the information in this brochure? Please call St. Stephen’s at 412.741.1790 and we will be happy to talk with you.